i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
