I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
