OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
