as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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