The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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