I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
