my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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