We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
