oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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