forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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