He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
