I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
