That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
