Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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