she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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