We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I want to fling myself into the sun
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
