So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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