Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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