No, you can still breathe under the balls.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
