i barfeds in our rink
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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