Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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