all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
