sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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