I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
