he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Hippo gnu deer
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
