Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
