so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
And then my night got REAL pukey
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
