I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
