Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
