Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her

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(765): View more from Indiana

It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"

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(541): View more from Oregon

definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass

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(972): View more from Texas

The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location

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(+81): View more from

I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him

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(519): View more from Ontario

Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled

(1-519): View more from Ontario

And that's what dreams are made of

(519): View more from Ontario

*hilary duff crying in the background*

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