pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
