My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
