Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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