i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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