You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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