how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
