Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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