Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
