Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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