I faked an abortion last night.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
