he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
