i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
