you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
