Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
