would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
