so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
