his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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