Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
