careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can't turn off my feet"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
