Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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