ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My bed smells like the plague
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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