Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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