someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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