my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
