I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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